Singles Online Dating Advice
Mail Order Bride Fraud

This is a classic Warning Sign. Most normal women will not discuss these things unless you pointedly inquire. Scammers on the other hand will repeatedly and very discreetly drop these hints like foreshadowing in a horror story.

The bottom line: When you see these things you should be hearing the cello in "JAWS" (daaa-dum, daaa-dum, da dum, da-dum...)

While real women are no doubt eager and happy to meet you in person soon, with scammers it is almost expressed as a life and death necessity. A real relationship allows things to progress at a natural and mutually convenient pace. Very few real and mature women desire to rush into a relationship, especially when considering all of the important factors involved with getting together with someone from abroad. On the contrary, time is the scammer's enemy. The false sense of urgency created by the scammer is like the fox setting fire to the chickenhouse.

The fact is the longer you stretch your communications with your correspondent, the deeper will be your understanding and knowledge of exactly who that person is. So long as you are not also a "cash cow," for a scammer stretching your communication is very bad because you will detect them to be scammer or they will expend a lot of their time on you with little pay-off.

The bottom line: It is always a good idea to take your time in getting to know the person you are writing over the Internet before meeting them in person.

For the same reasons above and for whatever reasons for the money, she needs all of it and she needs it yesterday. Of course providing any money at all violates Scam Alert's for the internet correspondent. Your goal should be to explore, investigate and discover who she is as a person without disturbing her natural economic condition. True, sincere persons are ultimately looking for a better life and some of these persons are in desperate economic circumstances, but if she expects you to play the role of her "White Knight" then ask yourself if that is what you want. If you are going to send some money don't for any reason feel compelled to send it immediately. Remember in this situation time is a scammer's enemy. The bottom line: If a fool and his money are soon to be parted it doesn't have to be right away.

This Warning Sign seems counter-intuitive since it is typically assumed that scammers are "gold diggers". But in fact when you think about a real "gold digger" in order to actually get the "gold" a real relationship must be formed. Scammers are not interested in a real life dating or marriage relationship therefore paradoxically they are not ultimately interested in your financial status or whether you could support them in the long run. They just want some quick cash and then will blow you off or string you along until the well runs dry or you finally get wise.

On the contrary, real women, although perhaps reserved, will show an interest in your financial status, probably by asking lots of questions about what you do for a job, whether you have children, an ex-wife, where you live, what you drive, etc. This is because, even if they plan on working and being independent, they ultimately desire a partner that can help support the family.

The bottom line: Never become someone's "Sugar Daddy" unless you are actually getting some sugar.

It is amazing how many men ignore this simple Warning Sign. Common experience should indicate that no one can be so in love after a couple of emails. Maybe after meeting in person it is possible to be "in love" quickly. But until then, expect a genuine girl to be quite guarded in her expressions of intimate feelings. She was very brave just to put herself out there like this so she is very unlikely to risk her feelings or being hurt by saying "I love you" to a virtual stranger she has not yet met in person.

Even if you two have reached the point of such romantic expressions, do not confuse such expressions with where you stand in relation to each other.

The bottom line: Saying "I love you" means "I want to be with you". It does NOT mean "Can you give me 50 bucks?"

Real women write about the real events in their real lives. Some of these are positive and some are negative. Sometimes they discuss their own personalities and characteristics and sometimes they reveal the qualities that they want in a partner. Real women do not write on and on in flowery terms about such things as "honesty" and "trust" unless they want to set you up when you try to turn down their request for money by crying that you don't trust them! (Oh Gee, and just after she told you how important "trust" meant to her.) As noted above, the phrase "I love you" is rarely, if ever, said by a real woman as it means a journey towards commitment and therefore is serious. A scammer knows that path will never be walked so they say it very freely. A scammer also knows well that the mere allusion to "sex" combined with that revealing photo attached is likely to make most men feel like not responding to the request for money would be like walking away from a betting table. Indeed, many men although knowing the odds are against them and even sensing that they are about to lose their money, still risk it, telling themselves "Well, I could get lucky".

The bottom line: Remember that "talk" is supposed to be cheap.

Granted, Russia and Ukraine and these other lands are full of drop dead beautiful women who could easily be a covergirl. (Of course, keep in mind that many agencies select only the best looking women and reject many of the ordinary looking people.) While it is entirely possible that this gorgeous creature is genuinely interested in what you have to offer at least try to keep some rational perspective. If possible, step outside of the situation and examine whether anyone else would consider this a real pairing. Some age difference is expected and acceptable and even biologically normal--some might even say mandated. Anna-Nicole-Smith-age-discrepancy should only be reserved for billionaires however. Mature women typically value security, emotional availability, stability, and financial resources over looks and physical characteristics as a matter of course so it is not totally improbable that if you have these things she will overlook your unibrow and the potbelly or a reasonable age difference. On the other hand, if the whole things seems like a dream--or maybe a scene out of American Beauty--you better make sure you aren't sleepwalking right into a brickwall.

The bottom line: Pray that she is real and count your blessings.

So you finally fly there and she meets you at the airport. You go out to all of the best restaurants of course. You even buy her things to show your affection. (By the way Gentlemen, it is not a "custom" to buy her an expensive "engagement ring" or present!!! Really she should be happy enough just to see you.) At this point, assuming that she is a scammer and you just haven't realized it yet, there are a few different possibilities. You might end up spending some rather pleasurable time with her (at least until your money runs out) and then she will disappear. Or she may deftly ignore even your mildest advances and try and pump you for money during your various "dates." Or finally, her "cousin Gregor" may suddenly appear and ask you for a little pre-familial loan. Not only should you politely decline but at your earliest convenience you should ditch the both of them and consider changing hotels.

Remember should you be lucky enough to visit a genuine lady from abroad that you have been writing to, she is going to want to show you her city, introduce you to her family and friends and probably not want to sleep with you within the first three hours of your arrival.

The final bottom line: Fortune favors the prepared mind.